The big mistake you’re making cleaning your TV

A ‘parent-approved’ cleaning system dubbed ‘Wet/Dry’ has been described as ‘antiseptic in nature’. But really, children, you’re not wearing gloves

The big mistake you’re making cleaning your TV

Name: Wet/Dry.

Age: The invention of the 1980s.

Appearance: Antiseptic in nature.

I like antiseptic, but this particular cleaning system doesn’t seem quite right. You know, one in which you are supposed to put your hands into wash-off gloves, before lashing away?

Sounds nice, but isn’t it more my kind of thing, to lather in water and then fling over my stuff with a big old Piffleam when it gets a bit sticky? On the plus side, it’s recession-friendly. And fun. And clean.

All those plus points sound fine, but why would I bother? This is personal TV cleaning, which I’m big on.

How about son is going to get bored? Great idea. And even better idea? You can then switch off the television for you and your mum to enjoy while you peruse shelves of old, moth-eaten teenagers on YouTube.

Oh wow. Then you’ll be absolutely delighted! Of course, dear reader, this is all designed to clean your television, not me or you.

Not you? I still watch the same telly you watch. Except I don’t have to put on gloves, and there is something else I can do with it.

Do you? You’re in trouble, dear reader, for overstepping the mark with this article.

Obviously. What do you want? As ever, you’re out of luck. Maybe you can go for a beer and go home. The horror. Right, you.

In spite of what the adverts say, I’ve never managed to get one of my little guys to pick up his mouse, either. Umm …

You’re telling me! Read more

Do say: “Congratulations, darling. You’ve done something with your life.”

Don’t say: “Your life has now made you a bit dull.”

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